


Falling

by BakeySama9, beneathstarryskies



Series: The Falling Trilogy [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death Eaters, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Friendship, Hate, Hogwarts, Love, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Nonverbal Spells, Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, Other, Rejection, Seventh year, Unrequited Love, War, Young James Potter, Young Lily Evans - Freeform, Young Peter Pettigrew, Young Remus Lupin, Young Severus Snape, Young Sirius Black, power, voldemort - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25043203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakeySama9/pseuds/BakeySama9, https://archiveofourown.org/users/beneathstarryskies/pseuds/beneathstarryskies
Summary: It's the seventh year at Hogwarts for Stevie, Lindy and their gang of ragtag Marauder friends. While Lindy still seems to have taken another path in life that contrasts with her friends paths, Stevie tries her best to maintain a good relationship with her friends while dueling the empty feelings of losing her best friend and father to the dark side. What will ensue as the final year of school comes to an end?All even chapters are written by BakeySama9All odd chapters are written by Queen_Of_Naps.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Falling Trilogy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1700383
Comments: 6
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter One

Despite it being just the end of August, there’s little warmth in the air at Cygnus Estates. The air is cool, and everyone seems tense despite this supposedly being a party. My mother had attempted to throw her dinner party again this year, but unfortunately my father had hijacked it to be a cover for a big Death Eater meeting. Everyday I see more and more light draining from my mother’s eyes. She worries about me being so entwined with Death Eaters, and worries even more about Ronan’s running from the expectations of him also joining. For the second year in a row he went to study dragons, this time in Wales. Everytime my father mentions his induction, he comes up with an excuse not to come home. 

The house is filled with Death Eaters and allies drinking wine and eating the gourmet food my mother carefully chose. She tries her best to play the part of the gracious host despite there not being a single one of her friends at the party. The only real guest of my mother’s is Narcissa Black, who isn’t exactly pleasant. 

Rumors have been swirling all summer of a growing resistance against Voldemort’s ascendance to power. Lord Voldemort is growing impatient, if not a bit concerned. It was difficult for me to pretend not to know much about it, but luckily my summer had been a bit on the calm side. Lucius spent two months in France on what was supposed to be a mission to expand on our influence throughout Europe. 

I filled that time mostly visiting Severus in Spinner’s End, or having Delilah Greengrass over. Severus was always strange to hang around because I could never tell what I was going to get. Sometimes we’d spend hours talking, but sometimes it was like my presence made him uncomfortable. Delilah on the other hand was a wonderful distraction because she could babble on for ages about anything that caught her attention. I didn’t have to be so guarded around her. 

Once Lucius returned, he somehow talked my parents into allowing him to take me to his family’s oceanside cottage in Ireland. My parents were all too eager to allow me to spend time with him. Perhaps hoping a slip in the birth control spell could lead to an early marriage. 

I stand at the edge of the garden overlooking the ocean. In the background I can hear the high pitched squeal of Bellatrix, no doubt laughing at something morbid. 

Lucius has his arm wrapped around me while he talks about the life that awaits once I get through this last year of Hogwarts. Despite not being officially engaged, he’s decided we will likely be married the summer after I graduate. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but I assume for now I should go along with it. It’s everything my parents had ever wanted for me. I’m a Death Eater who is in Voldemort’s favor, and I’m practically engaged to Lucius Malfoy. I try to focus on his words, and to allow myself to appear happy despite the uneasiness growing inside me with each passing day. 

I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore.

Despite everything, I can’t help but think of how my old friends would judge me for the course my life had taken over the summer. Sirius would be jealous of the intimate time I spent with Lucius, but would take comfort in knowing I wished it were with him every time. Stevie and James would tease me relentlessly for being so extravagant. Meanwhile Remus would ask me a thousand questions to ensure everything is okay. Peter would attempt to make jokes, but they would mostly fall flat. All of them would be shocked at the time I willingly spent with Severus. I miss them. I try not to because it only makes things more complicated, but deep down I don’t think I’ll ever truly stop. 

“I thought I might find the two of you out here,” the deep drawl of Severus Snape pulls me out of my thoughts. I smile when my eyes land on him, and somehow he seems to be more focused on me than he is Lucius. Severus’ black hair now sits just at his shoulders, and somehow he’s managed to get even taller over the summer. He stands even taller now than Lucius. 

“Severus,” I step forward to greet him, “How are you?” 

“Better now,” his answer is vague. His black eyes move from my face to Lucius. I’m surprised when he doesn’t say anything to him, or even to hold the same amount of admiration I used to see. 

“We should probably get inside,” Lucius says without looking at Severus. 

Lucius moves his hand from my waist to grasp my fingers, his thumb soothes over my knuckles softly as we come into the dining room. Voldemort is already sitting at the end of the table, watching as everyone takes their seats. Lucius stiffens when Voldemort’s eyes completely pass over him to land on me. A twisted smile forms on his pale lips. 

“Rosalind,” he announces and he slowly rises from his seat to approach me. His cold fingers wrap around my free hand before bringing my hand up to his lips. “You’ve returned from Ireland, I see.” 

“We had a nice time,” I smile. 

Lucius looks down at his feet, the confident man I’ve known so well seems to falter suddenly. 

“I’m sure you did,” Voldemort agrees with a satisfied smile. 

He turns away from us and returns to his seat. Lucius sighs before leading me to our seats at the table. To my surprise Voldemort requests that I sit at his right hand side, the spot usually reserved for Lucius or Bellatrix. Lucius sits down beside me uncomfortably. Severus sits beside Bellatrix on the other side of the table, his eyes still seem to be locked on me. 

Slowly everyone quiets down from their boozy conversations. My mother and Narcissa Black leave the room. 

Then, one by one the Death Eaters report on their doings for the cause one by one, before adding things they would like to do next. Voldemort listens with half interest. After a few minutes of this grovelling he interrupts Mulciber Sr. who was telling of a small skirmish that happened in the woods a few nights ago. 

“What have you learned about the wizards and witches you’re fighting?” he asks the room, the displeasure seeping over his features as everyone looks to one another in confusion. When nobody answers him, he continues. 

“These aren’t all Aurors in the fight anymore,” he points out. “These are just normal people. What does their presence tell you?” 

I finally speak when everyone continues to look to one another for answers they should know, “They’re organizing.” 

“She’s just a child and she still knew the answer. They’re organizing indeed, Rosalind. They call themselves the Order of the Phoenix.”

Lucius takes my hand underneath the table, I notice his palms are sweaty. I squeeze his hand in an attempt to provide him some comfort. 

“They are most likely connected to Dumbledore, considering that they mostly seem to be school children,” he scoffs.

Bellatrix laughs, “Children!” 

Voldemort holds up a pale hand to silence her before turning to me, “Rosalind, I would like for you to keep your ears open for information on their next meeting and possible members of this little army of Dumbledore’s.” 

“I can do that, my lord.” 

He nods, “And when you find out when it will be, I expect you to plan an attack on this meeting. In fact, I am putting you in charge of this operation.” 

Bellatrix lets out a muffled gasp, and there are whispers among the table. Severus raises his eyebrow at me, and I shrug slightly to indicate I hadn’t expected this. Nobody outright will defy him, but their doubt is evident. Lucius squeezes my hand when I tense up. 

“My daughter is intelligent, but she’s not a strategist,” my father speaks up. “She’s never so much as been in a duel.” 

“Let me do it,” Bellatrix practically begs. “I can do it, my lord.” 

“Let’s not forget, Rosalind is in the best position she could be in to assemble such an attack,” Voldemort says. “She is a student at Hogwarts. Ronan, your insistence on protecting your daughter is admirable. However, I’ve made my decision.”

Everyone goes silent. Without another word, Voldemort disappears against a cloud of black smoke, and soon everyone else follows. I’m left with my heart pounding as Severus and Lucius both eye me curiously. My father rubs his eyes before sipping his wine. He leans back in his chair with an uneasy look. 

“Well,” he sighs. “I’m very proud of you, Rosalind. Now, I must break this news to your mother.” 

“Perhaps you should wait until I’ve left for school,” I suggest. “She may try to pull me out of school if we do it tonight.” 

“Good idea,” Dad agrees. “I’ll tell her after you leave tomorrow.”

He takes another sip of his wine before announcing the meeting is over to my mom and Narcissa. Lucius stands at the same time I do. He pulls me into a tight embrace before kissing my forehead. 

“I know you can do this, darling,” he whispers to me. 

Over his shoulder I catch a glance of Narcissa Black watching us. She looks away quickly when she realizes I’ve caught her staring. There’s a sadness in her eyes that I can relate to all too well. The loss of love is a distinct pain easily identified in others. Lucius places one last kiss on my cheek before releasing me to go speak with my father. 

Severus walks up to me. A million questions seem to be reflected in his eyes, but I can barely catch my breath.

“What an honor,” Severus comments. 

“Shut up,” I groan. 

He smirks, “He expects you to fail.” 

“Geez, thanks for the words of encouragement,” I shake my head. “Besides, how can I fail? It’s mostly an intelligence mission.” 

Severus rolls his eyes, “You haven’t been paying much attention lately, hm?” 

I lean against the kitchen table and cross my arms over my chest, “Would you just tell me?” 

He leans close to me, and for a moment I get the feeling he’s just using it as an excuse to be closer. I have to remind myself that Severus is definitely not interested in me. If anything he just wants to be creepy. 

“Your former friends are on top of the list of suspected Order members,” he whispers.

I shrug, “What they choose to do is up to them.” 

“You see, Voldemort is expecting you to betray him for them. Because if you succeed, and the ‘attack’ happens, you will have to fight them.” 

“You seem like you want me to fail,” I raise an eyebrow. 

“I would hate to see it, actually. I like to think we’ve become rather good friends,” he sighs. “I just don’t know if you’ll have the heart to kill any of them.” 

“I guess that’s why I’ll have the heartless wonder at my side,” I nudge him on the shoulder in an attempt to turn things around him. 

He tilts his head to the side, “Fair warning, if I’m in the fight Sirius Black is the first to go.” 

I shrug, “Sounds like a plan.” 

Focusing on keeping my emotions in check to avoid letting him in my mind took so much effort, I began to feel dizzy from the strain. 

“If you don’t mind, I need to socialize a bit,” I excuse myself from his company for now. 

I hear him disapparate behind me, and I can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. In the moment of relative quiet, I manage to slip away to the bathroom. As soon as I’m sure it’s safe, I pull out my wand to cast a non-corporeal patronus. Before leaving school for the summer, Dumbledore taught me to use my patronus to communicate with him in secret. We both knew if something important came up it wouldn’t be safe to write about it in a letter. 

“Dumbledore, Voldemort knows about the Order of the Phoenix. He knows there are Hogwarts students involved. He’s tasked me with mounting an attack,” I whisper to the small white orb. Then I open the small window, and release it to go find Dumbledore. 

When I return to the dining room, I try to remind myself to stay calm. My mind is still reeling over the meeting, and Severus’ words to me. I am going to have to actually do this. I won’t kill anyone. I notice my father eyeing me carefully, gauging my reaction. I know I need to act natural, so I try to find someone to interact with. The first person my eyes land on is Narcissa, so I approach her carefully. As I notice her still peering longingly at Lucius, I feel eager suddenly to give her some sort of comfort. Her demeanor changes as I approach her. 

“What can I do for you?” she asks. Her voice is tinged with coldness, yet she smiles. 

“I was actually going to thank you for coming,” I smile. “I know it meant a lot to my mother to have at least one guest here who actually came for the dinner party.” 

Narcissa’s eyes cut over to where Lucius stands with my father, “I didn’t do it for her.” 

The Hogwarts Express seems less joyful than usual. I find a compartment, hoping to be left alone. I sink into the seat beside the window, shedding the act for just a moment of being the perfectly behaved pureblood witch I’ve had to be all summer long. I take a few deep breaths. 

Familiar laughter fills the train, and I look up in time to see Stevie and Remus walking together. Sirius is behind them with his arms draped across each of their shoulders. James, Lily, and Peter follow close behind them. They all look so happy in spite of everything. They walk so confidently. My chest aches and I have to tear my eyes off them. I look out the window and wait for them to pass.

The door of my compartment opens, and Severus walks in. He takes the seat across from me with a sheepish smile. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks in a deep whisper. 

“Fine,” I shrug. “Are you finished taunting me about last night?” 

“Yes,” he leans forward. “I actually wanted to apologize for some of the things I said.” 

A laugh escaped my throat, “Severus Snape apologizes?” 

“Don’t make a spectacle of it,” he rolls his eyes. 

“I am worried though,” I confess quietly.

The look on his face becomes more serious now. There’s something in his eyes I can’t quite identify, perhaps a secret he’s keeping. I can pry a little bit, enough to know he’s hiding something, before he shuts me out completely. 

“Rosalind,” he leans forward. He surprises me when his hand brushes against mine before coming back to rest at his side. “I will help you with this. You’re not alone.” 

“Thank you, Severus,” I smile weakly. “You’re a good friend, surprisingly.” 

He leans back against his seat, “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

We both sigh as the train begins rolling towards Hogwarts. After a few moments, Lily and James walk by again hand in hand. I had no doubt they were going to the first of the year meeting to talk with the new Prefects. Severus rolls his eyes then looks back at me. 

“How could that swine become Headboy? The fucking half-breed Lupin would’ve been a better choice than him.” 

I shrug, “Maybe he proved himself to Dumbledore in some way.” 

“Might as well have dressed Black in a dress and made him Head Girl.” 

With the tip of my shoe I kick him lightly on the shin, “You’re so jealous.” 

“I’m not jealous,” he scoffs. “Potter is an incompetent buffoon.” 

“And Lily?” 

He gasps slightly at the mention of her name, dedicated to the core to being dramatic it would seem. 

“She’s adequate,” he purposefully downplays his feelings for her. “Much too good for him.” 

“Sev, can I ask you something?” 

“Besides that,” he quips. 

“Not funny,” I cross my arms. “But seriously. I wanted to ask you something personal, you can’t tell Lucius I asked.” 

His features darken at the mention of Lucius, and again I’m left wondering what’s happened between them. He lets out a sigh and then nods slowly. 

“What happened with Lucius and Narcissa Black?” 

Severus shakes his head, “Lindy, why are you asking me this? 

“Sev, they were a perfect couple. Everyone was certain they would be married right out of school. And yet, all of a sudden they broke up. Then later in the summer Lucius is on my trail. Now, it’s obvious that Narcissa still loves him and he tries so hard to pretend she doesn’t exist that it seems forced.” 

“I don’t know,” Severus says finally. “They were together, and then they weren’t. Now he’s with you. That’s all there is to it.” 

He’s lying, I can sense it as soon as I cast the spell which can only mean Severus wants me to know he’s lying considering how little effort I put in to finding out. I decide not to pry any further. 

“Alright then,” I shrug. “I was just curious if there was anything else.” 

We’re both quiet for a while. There’s something about Severus that I can’t put my finger on. He seems so different now, and his reaction to Lucius at the meeting still baffles me. Not to mention how much his demeanor changed when I mentioned him earlier. Severus has looked up to Lucius since first year, and now he suddenly seems to hate him. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I wish he wasn’t such a skillful Occlumens so I could just find the answers myself. Severus looks at me for a moment with his eyebrow raised, but then turns his attention to a book he’d retrieved from his trunk. 

I stare out the window at the mountains and lakes rolling by. My parents were disappointed with me not being appointed Headgirl, but truthfully I am relieved. I’m excited to return to Hogwarts for many reasons, but the idea of that much responsibility is no longer one of them. Moving onto the last of N.E.W.T.s level classes was the biggest thing I was excited for, but I also missed the structure of life at Hogwarts. There was little time to worry about filling or that could be potentially dominated by people I didn’t much want to associate with. Especially since so many Death Eaters had left school. 

“Found you,” Delilah interrupts my train of thought.

“Oh, hi!,” I smile as I move my things to make room for her to sit. 

Severus rolls his eyes when she closes the door and takes a seat beside me. 

“You look so nice,” she compliments me. “You smell so good. Doesn’t she smell good, Sev?” 

Severus’ pale cheeks turn a light shade of pink. He clears his throat before sighing, “I’m sure she does.” 

Delilah tugs a bit of my hair towards him. I have to lean forward to avoid having it yanked out of my head. 

“Smell,” she commands. “She smells just like a rose garden.” 

“No, it’s fine. You don’t have to,” I assure him. Severus hesitates before leaning forward to take a small sniff of my hair. 

“Yes,” Sev leans back. “Lovely.” 

Delilah begins her usual bout of gossiping. She informs us that Remus and Stevie seem to be dating, which isn’t surprising. Sirius was dating Marlene Mckinnon, but now he’s dating Samantha who he took to the dance last year. Also, apparently Amos Diggory got married over the summer. Severus and I mostly tune her out in favor of staring out the window. 

Hogwarts becomes visible in the distance, and I feel an odd mix of relief and anticipation. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie is tasked with going to her second Order of the Phoenix meeting. After the meeting, things go awry as there is a family emergency at the Frost Manor and Edmund Frost shows his true colors(which is not surprising in the least).

At the end of the school year, I had decided to go live with Alois and Mary, seeing as my father was still upset with me after what happened at Christmas. It was like he didn’t even care what happened to me at this time. To a certain degree, I wonder if he even cared for me at any point in my life. 

That was all in the past now as I tried my best to continue living with the love and support from my friends and the rest of my family that still cared. Alois and Mary even supported my idea of becoming emancipated from my father. James and Sirius encouraged the idea as well.

This summer, I had managed to spend most of my days with Sirius and James at James’ home. While both his parents are elderly, they are still so sweet and welcoming. I felt so at home with them. Sirius, James and I raised hell almost every day. The days seem to blur together as the three of us caused mischief and ruckus. Between pulling pranks on each other, drinking ourselves silly and being loud and rowdy, who could find the time to rest and relax?

  
  


With those memories still fresh in my mind, I barely notice the owl at my window. Vigilantly, I let it in and untie the scroll from it’s leg. It’s a beautiful silvery barn owl who looks wise and kind, and it coos softly as I open the letter.

_ Dear Stephania, _

_ I’m delighted to invite you to a meeting that will take place this evening. I do not need you to reply, I only need you to show up. At the bottom of this letter, please find the details to the meeting place. Do your best to not allude to anyone where you are going. Do not even make mention of it to your aunt and uncle(though I am sure they are both trustworthy, I’d rather not have them implicated in these dangerous affairs). As soon as you gather all the necessary information for our meeting place, please destroy this note. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Albus Dumbledore. _

  
  


The letter was short and sweet, but it had me riled up in excitement and anxiety. This was going to be my first meeting with the other members of the Order of the Phoenix. This was a group that Dumbledore has been putting together for almost a decade, but only managed to rope me into since last year.

I did my best to memorize the address on the bottom of the note. Once I was sure I wouldn’t be making any mistakes with the Floo powder, I muttered ‘ _ Incendio _ ’ and watched the fire consume the parchment.

It was odd going to meetings now, but I was part of something great and I had to try to become accustomed to it. This would be my second meeting since officially joining, and I knew that my friends would also be attending. The one thing that did make me sad was that Lindy would never be part of this.

I’d always wanted Lindy and I to be a part of a secret group. There was always something within our relationship that would make us a great team to have in a group fighting for something good. She was calm and collected, and I wasn’t afraid to hex someone.

The realization that my former best friend wouldn’t be a part of this was something I had to live with. Things had changed so much, and now I had to go it without her. I spent a lot of the summer contemplating and grieving over the loss of someone who I had considered my sister for so long.

As I pull out of my thoughts, I gather my things quietly and make my way over to the fireplace. It was clean and void of soot, which made me feel better about travelling by Floo Powder. Usually I would find a better way to travel, but I found this to be convenient for the time being.

I do my best to not mess up the pronunciation of the place I’m going to, and I am consumed by the color of the green flames. In a flash, I find myself in someone’s living room. The room is filthy with paper and food packaging strewn about here and there. There is a tattered couch and a matching chair nearby. 

As I make my way out of the fireplace, I am greeted by Alastor Moody and Elphias Doge who are both standing and chatting idly. Emmeline Vance and Fabian Prewett are also present in the room. 

“I’m not late am I? I’ve only just received the note.” I question.

“No, you’re actually early. We’re waiting on the others in your year who have joined, as well as my brother.” Fabian says as he rolls his eyes.

I had made acquaintances with all the Order members during my first meeting, and it had been quite surprising to me to see some very familiar faces. I knew that Dumbledore had recruited the best of the best, but seeing some of the people I went to school with was weird. It was almost cruel to ask people so young to fight in a war like this, but so many of us felt like we had no choice. Oftentimes, we longed to be strong and resilient like adults, yet we’ve figured out early on in our lives that they aren’t the super powerful beings we had imagined them to be as children.

I know that some of the Order members idolized their parents, or maybe they were just too blind to see their flaws and faults. I had been lucky enough to know at a young age that my father couldn’t be trusted, yet I still longed for the day that he may step up and protect me. Finally being able to see how brutally real adults were, we are all able to stand up against evil. We are scared, but we are ready to grow up and become a strong force against Voldemort.

  
  


Some of the people I talked to the most during the meetings(other than my friends of course) were Marlene McKinnon who was in our year, and of course Alice and Frank Longbottom who were only a few years older than us.

Everyone seemed so strong and ready to fight, but I still felt like a scared child most times. Even though I wanted this war to end and to vanquish evil, I would still feel terrified at the prospect of Voldemort winning and killing us all off.

Marlene shakes me out of my thoughts as the rest of the group arrives either by Floo Powder or apparating. I see Sirius, James and Lily. As I walk up to them, I’m stopped by Remus, who looks worried about me. He seems to have just arrived after Sirius, yet I had hardly noticed him making an appearance.

“You’re alright? You haven’t been to see your father again have you?” Remus had been so worried about me ever since the Christmas debacle with my father. I mostly stayed with James and Sirius during the summer, but I knew that Remus was still worried.

“Yes, I’m fine, Rem. I was with those two gits this entire summer.” I snicker as I point towards James and Sirius, who look so much more mature than they did a week ago.

Remus grabs my hand as Dumbledore begins calling us forward to begin the meeting. I feel myself getting clammy as he begins.

“I’m going to make this meeting brief but I ensure that there is utmost importance that you are all here,” Dumbledore begins, “I know there are many seventh years who are starting school tomorrow and I would hate for you to lose sleep over this.”

There’s silence in the room before he starts up once more, “Seeing as this is our second meeting together officially with all of our members, I would like to take a second to remind you all why we were gathered. We need to stop Voldemort, and I trust that all of you would do the right thing given the situation.”

No one dares to speak up, and we are all agreeing with what he has to say. Even as we are slightly frightened or maybe anxious, we are ready to end this war. It has been going on for too long.

“Hogwarts has become unsafe once more as an influx of junior Death Eaters are now mixed in with our regular students. I implore those of you who are still studying to keep a low profile, but to please keep an eye out for our younger students. Most of them have not been able to understand the consequence of this war nor have they been able to comprehend what it means to pick a side.”

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle as he looks at us seventh years. We are who he wants to be as a look out. We must now sacrifice some time to not only spy on junior Death Eaters, but to also defend and protect the young students who study at Hogwarts.

“As for the rest of you, I’m sure you understand your position and roles that I’ve asked of you. We mustn't lose sight of what’s important. We are fighting so that Voldemort can finally end his reign of terror.”

“What of the skirmish in the forest just the other day?! Have our members recovered from this attack?” Gideon Prewett is quick to ask this, yet Dumbledore remains calm.

“As it would seem, our members have not suffered grave injuries. They are resting up for the moment, and this is why they were not able to join us.” His words are concise and clear, yet there is still a feeling of uneasiness in the room.

“Do not fret. While they might have the numbers, we are far more skilled and well equipped than they are. I assure you this will not be an easy task, but it is the right thing to do. We must work together.”

We all mutter amongst ourselves, but it isn’t long before a wispy ball is seen floating through the air. We all stop and watch it as it bounces from one side of the room to the other. It’s clear that whatever spell this is, it has been cast by someone who isn’t very experienced with the particular spell. A few older members murmur words of Patronus and charm, but I pay no mind to it. I’m so enthralled by this ball of mist that I barely notice Sirius leaning over to whisper in my ear.

“What do you think it is? Friend or foe?” I look over to him.

“I’m not sure. Let’s see how Dumbledore reacts.” In the corner of my eye, I can see Remus giving us a weird look. This is unlike him, but I chalk it up to all of us being on edge.

The ball stops in front of Dumbledore, and he smiles knowingly. He’s quick to dispel our worries of enemies being present amongst our ranks.

“To our younger members, this is how we will be communicating from now on. This is my twist on the Patronus charm. We are able to send messages with our wispy guardians. I will be teaching all of you to be able to perform this charm.”

All of us seventh years begin chatting about the excitement of learning a new way to perform the Patronus charm. The excitement and buzz in the air is almost too loud for me to be able to hear the message coming from the non-corporeal Patronus. I extend my ear towards the sound of the voice emanating from it, and it’s almost like the person's voice is so familiar.

I shrug it off to it being one of the other members. There was no way I could really know who was on the other side of the message. There were some things that Dumbledore kept from us, and I had to accept that. While I mostly thought he was old and foolish, I knew he could be calculated and clever. 

“I’m afraid I have some terrible news.” We are all immediately silenced by the gravity of this announcement. Dumbledore clears his throat before continuing on, “It has become known to me by one of my close associates that Lord Voldemort is onto us. He is aware of our presence and is planning an attack.”

The tension rises as people cling to their loved ones in the room. I grasp Remus’ hand as he comforts me gently. James and Sirius begin planning how they will beat Voldemort together as a duo, yet they are quickly quieted by Marlene who is visibly weary.

“I do not want anyone to fret. We now know that the enemy is aware of us, but this must not make us weak. We have to be strong, but also keep our wits about us. I will do my best to gather all of you here soon after school starts.” Dumbledore concludes.

  
  


It’s not long before Dumbledore is giving us some final instructions, and we are all left to our 

own devices. He mostly instructs us to be very vigilant, and for us students to watch over each other. It’s very grim to realize how much we’ve been implicated into this matter now. I think for a lot of us, especially James and Sirius, we’ve been putting up a tough facade. Now, things have gone from serious to horridly real. As much as I am very aware and alarmed by this news, I try my best to relax. Tomorrow school starts for our last year, and I do want to try and make the best out of it even though I am now part of a group trying to defeat Voldemort.

“You ready to head home?” James asks me as I stifle a yawn. Lily is by his side, smiling sweetly. If anything, they have gotten closer and closer as the year went by. They are almost attached at the hip, and she has spent quite a few nights with us at the Potters’ home.

“Yeah, after a summer of staying up late with you and Sirius, I am so tired. I wish we weren’t starting school tomorrow.” James laughs and Remus wraps his arm around my shoulder.

“I could see you home safely, if that’s okay with you.” Remus suggests and I agree.

We bid goodbye to everyone within earshot, Remus grabs my arm and we apparate into my bedroom in London. We’ve been using this method of travel like crazy ever since we’ve all gotten our licenses.

  
  


“Soo, I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow, then?” Remus asks shyly, and I close the gap between us.

“I can’t wait to see you there.” I tell him as I press my lips to his. He’s startled at first, but soon leans into the kiss as his hands snake into my hair. Remus groans softly as I press my body more tightly to his. We both pull away for air as I smile dumbly at him.

“Stevie…” he starts, “I’m so scared to hurt you. I want you, but I’m so afraid--” I interrupt him with another kiss. 

“You need to stop worrying so much. You won’t hurt me.” I reassure him.

“But what if I can’t help it? I’m not me when I turn. I’m a monster.” He’s very ashamed of who he is, despite the fact that he can no longer hide his feelings for me.

“I know you won’t. I’ll never let it happen, I swear it.” We start leaning in again, but it’s not long before my bedroom door is slammed open.

“STEVIE! Something has happened at the Frost Manor and you need to-- Oh, hi Remus!” Alois yells awkwardly. I’m beet red at this point and move away from Remus.

“What’s wrong?” I question my uncle.

“I think it would be best if we spoke in private.” I take the hint and I bid Remus goodnight. He apparates home and I turn towards Alois.

“What happened?” I fear the worst as my mind turns to thoughts of my father torturing my grandparents or Ares.

“We need to get you to Frost Manor now. Something is wrong with your grandfather.” And with that we apparate to the manor. My heart is pounding as I imagine the worst. I had hoped that my father would be away from the manor for the summer, but I just keep thinking about how they fought at Christmas.

When we finally get there, Alois and I rush inside. Ares is at the door waiting for us, and we are ushered into the master bedroom. My grandfather is lying on the bed, looking grim and near death. My heart sinks as I walk over to him. Alois walks over and grasps his hand.

“My sweet Stephania...you’ve come to see me.” He croaks in a raspy voice. I’m unsure what’s wrong with him, but I know he will not be with us for very much longer.

“I just want you to know that your grandmother and I are very proud of you. We never wanted you to follow in your father’s footsteps.” I’m silent as I allow him to speak. Tears brim my eyes as I watch him struggle for air.

“Your mother...she was so kind. You remind me of her more and more everyday. I know your father loved her very much, but his heart turned black when she died. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that,” I say as I push back his hair. He seems to relish in the physical touch.

“You are just like your mother. Strong, kind, patient and understanding. Your father was like that, but when she died, a part of him died too.” My grandfather starts to close his eyes. He is getting weaker and weaker by the moment.

Finally he turns to my uncle and smiles. It’s the first time in a long time that they’ve been able to speak to each other.

“Alois, my son. You were always too good for this family. I know I haven’t always been kind.” Alois calmly shushes his father.

“Father, you don’t need to explain. I know--” but Alois is interrupted.

“No, I need to let you know how much I’ve admired what a wonderful man you’ve become.” Grandfather is weak, and Alois is holding back his tears. He’s shuddering as his father can no longer keep his eyes open.

“Remember, the key...the key…” and with that, he let out his last breath. My grandmother is in the corner of the room, crying silently. She is very good at putting up a strong front, but that doesn’t stop me from going to her and taking her in my arms.

I have no idea what my grandfather meant by the key, but I try not to overthink it right now. He wasn’t very lucid while talking to me, but I know it must mean something.

“He’s gone from us.” Cecilia says from the doorway.

Ares comes and holds both my grandmother and I closely. We all weep together. Sadness looms in the air. Cecilia closes the door and allows us to have a moment together as a family. Alois is still by grandfather, holding onto his hand.

“I’ll make the arrangements to have him buried in the family plot.” Ares tells us. Alois comes closer and they begin discussing who they will hire to direct the funeral. I hold my grandmother close as we continue to cry. We are all talking in hushed voices.

Suddenly, there is a loud crash outside the room and Cecilia is screaming at whoever made the sound to get out. I already know who it is. My father comes storming into the room.

“No one has the decency in this family to even tell me that my own father was on his deathbed! You allowed yourselves to keep this from me?!” He is shouting, and I know grandmother is very shaken up.

“Now, Edmund...how can anyone tell where you are at all times? You go from one side of the country to the next in a fit of rage almost every day!” Alois challenges, but this only adds fuel to the fire.

“What is he doing here?” My father looks at Alois as if he is the scum on his shoes.

“He is my father too. We are still brothers despite everything.” There is a thick tension as the two brothers come almost nose to nose with each other.

“I don’t think so. You stopped being my brother years ago when you married that filth.” Father spits out.

“You take that back!” Alois shouts at him, and they both take out their wands. I stand in front of my grandmother to shield her. Ares is standing next to Alois, ready to defend us.

“Father, stop this nonsense! Grandfather has just died and all you can do is fight with your own brother!” Ares tries to reason with our father, but it is to no avail.

“You are nothing to me, boy. Both of you were mistakes. I never wanted children.”

“THAT IS ENOUGH! I didn’t raise you to be so heartless and cruel, Edmund. Your father and I did everything to ensure that you had a wonderful life growing up. Your father has just passed and you cannot manage one speck of respect for him.” My grandmother yells as she pulls out her own wand and points it at my father.

“Come on, children. Let's leave this cold-hearted man.” My father doesn’t like the tone my grandmother is using and he pushes her to the ground.

“YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!” I cry out as I point my wand at him. He’s unphased and doesn’t seem to care. Alois does his best to wedge himself between my father and I. I can tell that he has our best interest in mind, seeing as we are unsure of how far my father will go at this point.

“And just what do you think you’re going to do, little one? You think you can take me?” Father spits in my face. I look over to see Ares helping my grandmother up and leading her out of the room.

“You are nothing to me anymore. You have never been my father. You are a disgrace to this family.”

“No, it is you who are a disgrace to this family. You’ve been nothing but trouble since the day I first laid eyes on you. After you murdered your mother, I couldn’t bear to look at the person who resembled her the most. But I can assure you that you are absolutely nothing like her. You’ll never be the witch she was.” I am beyond disgusted by him, but I just push past him.

In the hallway, Cecilia has packed us some bags and Ares and my grandmother are ready to apparate out of the manor. I take one last glance at the monster inside the bedroom. I’m afraid to leave Edmund with my grandfather’s body, but I know we will be back. 

Alois calls out from the room for us to leave the manor, and I know that we need to leave now. There is shouting and I can see balls of light flying all over. It has become a very dangerous space.

“C’mon, there’s no time to waste!” Cecilia calls as Edmund begins cursing and thrashing around in the bedroom. I’m scared, but I grab her arm and we apparate back to Alois and Mary’s home in London.

“We should be safe here. Ares and your grandmother should be joining us momentarily.” Cecilia says soothingly as she pulls me into a hug.

“You don’t think he got to them, do you?” I ask as Cecilia starts to open the door to the maisonette.

“I wouldn’t worry about that. They left before we did.” Suddenly, Ares apparates in front of us.

“Grandmother left. She didn’t say where she was going. I barely caught up with her.” He says to both Cecilia and I.

“What do you mean she left? I thought you were bringing her here!” Cecilia shouts and I do my best to calm both of them down.

“It’s fine. She told me it was fine. I don’t know where she went, but she wouldn’t say. I know she’ll be fine.” Ares explains.

We all make our way into the house and I cannot stop thinking about how I finally stood up to my father. As we unpack and do our best to wind down, I wrack my brain to think about what my grandfather meant about the key.

It also dawns on me that I’ve finally accepted the fact that I was not at fault for my mother’s death, and that I have no father.

After all this time, Alois has been more a father to me than my own father ever was...and I just left him with Edmund. My heart aches as I do my best to fall asleep later that night. I hope he’ll make it back to us safely.

The next morning I’m woken up early by Alois, who is beaten up and bruised, but looks happy nonetheless. 

“He’s gone. I don’t know where, but I promise he will no longer bother us again. We’re a family, for now and forever.” His words resonate through me for the rest of the day as I prepare for my first day of seventh year.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lindy has a rather hectic first day at Hogwarts. A suspect note from Lucius has her questioning their relationship.

“How is she so happy all the time?” Severus asks as we watch Delilah prance down the corridor towards her first class of the day.

“I don’t know,” I laugh. “I wish she would teach me the secret.” 

“I would never want to be that happy. She looks like an imbecile,” he rolls his eyes.    
“You’re just mad because she doesn’t think you’re an evil bat ready to hex whomever you please” I tease him. 

He only snarls in response, but we both know it’s true. Delilah has no fear of Severus whatsoever, but truthfully few people really do. Sirius and James had done enough to make sure of that. Although, I know if he wanted to he could destroy someone with ease I also know that Sev doesn’t have that kind of heart. No matter how desperately he tries to convince everyone he does. 

Together we make our way to Potions class. We take our seats at the front just as we always have. One the other side of the room Stevie and Remus sit together. Lily and James sit with them as well. Stevie and I make eye contact, and without thinking I offer her a weak smile. She furrowed her eyebrows together before looking away. I feel foolish. 

Just as Slughorn is about to begin lecture the doors burst open. We all turn in our seats to see Sirius come sauntering in. Peter tiptoes in behind him. I can’t seem to peel my eyes off of Sirius as he smirks towards Slughorn. 

“Sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to come.” 

He slides into the seat beside James. With a regretful sigh, Lily takes point from Gryfindor, which earns groans from all the Gryfindors in the room. 

“Finally someone won’t deal with that buffoon’s antics,” Severus whispers to me. 

“What was that, Snivellous?” Sirius calls across the room, his hand already reaching for his wand. Slughorn stands helplessly at the front of the class, looking between the two boys. 

“You heard me,” Severus begins reaching for his wand too. I manage to grab his wrist before he does so. 

“Sit down Severus,” I tell him through gritted teeth. 

“Yes, listen to your girlfriend, Snivels,” Sirius laughs. I turn around to glare daggers at him. 

“Shut up, Sirius,” I groan. “Both of you need to stop.” 

Sirius opens his mouth to speak, but James casts a muffling charm which leaves Sirius muted. 

“Stop it,” James says to Sirius. “Rosalind is right you guys need to cut it out.” 

Severus crosses his arms over his chest and stares at his battered copy of Advanced Potion Making. 

“Alright class, this year we are preparing to take our N.E.W.T.s,” Slughorn begins his lesson as though nothing had happened. “So, there will be a great deal of review material. I implore you all to take this opportunity to perfect skills you may have been lacking in before.”

I diligently take notes, ignoring the glares I’m receiving from Sirius. It’s almost amusing how he assumes I’m not used to being the object of his anger by now. I just have to remind myself that one day he will understand. 

Severus refused to make eye contact with me for the rest of the class, but I can’t find the strength to care considering there would’ve been a fight if I hadn’t spoken up. When class is over, Sev pushes past me to get to his next class. I want to make him understand why I spoke up the way I did. Even before we became friends I hated watching him be antagonized all the time. I was simply trying to protect him like I would any friend. 

I gather my things to move on to Charms class. 

“Hey, Rosalind,” I hear James’ voice beside me. I look up at him to see that crooked smile. “Thanks for helping to get a handle on things earlier.” 

“No problem,” I shrug. I finish packing my things away. 

“You know, you really haven’t changed. Everyone says you have, but you haven’t. You’re still the same Lindy who wants to keep the peace” James suggests. Lily walks up beside him, and intertwines their fingers. 

“You know that based on me wanting to avoid having Potions class ruined?” I joke. 

James smirks, “Yeah, I guess so.” 

“We don’t think you’re evil,” Lily says. “I know Sirius and Stevie are especially convinced that you’re a lost cause, but we’re not. If you’ve been forced to take the path you have, we’re here to help.” 

Their kindness causes a jolt of guilt and shame to hit me in the gut. I think of the task I’ve been given from Voldemort, and how likely they are to be tangled up in it all. James has always been a bit of an arrogant asshole, but I can see a new found genuineness in him that can only be attributed to Lily’s influence. I find myself wanting so badly to confess everything and be with my friends again, but at this point that would only bring more danger to us all. 

“You know, James, we were never really all that close,” I attempt to muster up the strength to be cruel to them. “Perhaps you never really knew me at all.” 

I turn around in time to hide the tears stinging my eyes. Before going to Charms, I stop off at the bathroom to splash some water on my face. Of course I’ve been moved to tears exactly two hours and thirty minutes into the first day. I think back to summer and all the conversations Mum and I had about my possible transfer to Beauxbatons, and I slightly regret having fought against it. 

In Charms, Severus sits in the front of the room. I start to sit next to him, but instead sit beside Delilah. Stevie sits by herself in the back of the room. She eyes me curiously, and I know that after years of being friends she can probably spot that I’ve been crying. I can only imagine all the things which will be uttered about me at lunch between my former friends. 

“Are you okay?” Delilah asks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I force a smile. 

She shrugs, “Okay.” 

I feel that tug on my mind, and I do my best to push it out. Severus turns around to look at me when I manage to block him out. His face softens a bit when he sees my face, and I get the feeling he’d seen things I hadn’t intended for him to. I panic as I begin to wonder what he might have found out. I try to focus on class and taking notes. 

“And I thought the first day last year was dramatic,” I find myself muttering as Stevie slinks past me at the end of class. 

“Ah,” Delilah smirks. “I knew something had to have happened. You have the best drama I swear.” 

“Miss Cygnus, is there something you would like to share with the class?” Professor Flitwick scolds me. 

“No, professor,” I say quietly. 

“Then please pay attention, and stop distracting your classmates.” 

I duck my head down for the rest of Charms, careful not to make too much eye contact with anyone in particular. It’s embarrassing how much shit I’ve managed to get into already. To think just yesterday I was excited to be back here.

Delilah and I leave Charms together, and make our way to the Great Hall for lunch. We sit at the end of the Slytherin table closest to the doors. Delilah chats away about how her first few classes have gone, and how excited she is to be finished with school. I try to pay attention, but my brain is still wrapping around how my own day has gone. Severus sits with my brother Ronan, occasionally sending me glares. 

I notice James and Lily walk in together, hand in hand. Both of them cast me concerned glances before going to join the rest of the group. Sirius sits between Stevie and Marlene McKinnon. Remus sits on the other side of Stevie, and I can see in his posture he’s trying his best to keep her attention. Peter is excited to see James approach the table and immediately begins talking his ear off. I wish I was there. Right in the seat currently being occupied by Marlene. For all I know, Sirius doesn’t even think of me anymore. However, in my mind our feelings for each other are the only thing keeping me grounded. 

“I thought he was seeing Samantha Waters,” Delilah comments. 

“What?” I shake out of my thoughts. 

“Sirius Black. Yesterday he was snogging Samantha on the train, and today he’s sitting with Marlene.” 

“He fancies himself a ladies man,” I shrug. 

I pick at my lunch absently, although I have little interest in the roasted chicken and vegetables sitting in front of me. I mostly just want this day to be over as quickly as possible. 

My next class is Defence Against the Dark Arts, and as though the universe is taunting me purposefully Slytherins and Gryfindors share this class. We naturally split up by house despite the fact that the new teacher, Professor Ricard, didn’t require us to. The one exception being Stevie, who sits with Remus. 

Delilah sits beside me, and surprisingly Severus sits on the other side of me. Ronan sits behind us, although I don’t think he’s doing it for the closeness. He’s seemed to make it a point to avoid me since he returned from his dragon studies. Severus leans close to me. 

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he whispers. 

“It’s okay,” I sigh. 

Professor Ricard is a short, round man with large round glasses which made his eyes look magnified. He wore an odd combination of a pinstriped Muggle suit with suspenders with a long navy blue robe that dragged the floor when he walked. His voice is strangely high pitched. He introduces himself to the class three times before he instructs us to write our names on a scrap piece of parchment. He places a small hat on his desk at the front of the classroom, and with a wave of his wand the parchment pieces begin to fly into the air in a series of swirls before landing inside the hat. 

“Now, I know this year we are preparing to take out N.E.W.T.s. I noticed that you all seemed to have a difficult time grasping the nonverbal spells. So, I think it would be a good idea for us to have a little refresher project,” he explains. “Using this hat, you will randomly be grouped into pairs. With your partner, you will practice and grade one another on the use of nonverbal spells in duels. You will also collaborate on a research paper in which you will present three examples of nonverbal spells being used in historic duels.” 

Everyone lets out frustrated groans at the amount of work, but Professor Ricard quiets us all down with ease by waving his wand to release a loud cracking noise followed by a red spark. 

“Now, if you don’t mind we will begin pairing off.” 

He waves his wand and two pieces of parchment fly out of the hat, and they land perfectly in his waiting palm. 

“First we have Ronan Cygnus and Delilah Greengrass,” he announces. 

A small smile presses on Delilah’s face as she moves to sit with Ronan. 

“Next up, Severus Snape and Stevie Frost,” he announces. 

Severus passes me a confused glance before we both look to gauge Stevie’s reaction. It’s not great. There’s an obvious look of disdain on her face as she reluctantly stands up. Severus moves as well, and they sit awkwardly together at a desk towards the front. Sirius is paired off with Lily, which I feel like he had to have somehow tampered with his parchment in order to get so lucky. James is paired with Peter.

“Rosalind Cygnus will be paired with,” he squints for a moment to read the writing on the tiny scrap of parchment. “Remus Lupin.” 

Remus is sheepish as he moves to sit with me. He doesn’t say anything as we listen for the rest of the class to be paired off so we could receive our next bits of instruction. 

“Now, class, I suggest you use this time to decide the parameters for your grading as well as set up times and places to meet. The majority of this project will take place outside of the classroom, so I suggest you abide by a schedule.” 

“So, um, Lindy, I mean Rosalind,” Remus begins, “I think when we’re practicing the spells we should meet outside. Maybe in the courtyard.” 

“That sounds good,” I agree. Neither of us look at one another. “I have an hour break between my last class and dinner. Or we could meet after dinner. Whichever works for you.” 

“Probably after dinner would be best. I don’t have much of a break between.” 

“Sounds good to me,” I agree. “If you want we could just meet two nights a week and then meet on Saturday as well that way we won’t have as much of a time constraint.” 

“I’m very glad you suggested meeting on Saturdays,” Remus sighs. “I was going to suggest it, but I know doing work on the weekend is not exactly a popular option.” 

I laugh, “No, I suppose it’s not.” 

We agree right away that only a successful casting should receive a good grade. I’d forgotten how nice it was to work on projects and assignments with Remus. He’s every bit as dedicated to his studies as I am to mine, so it’s always a relief not to worry about being over enthusiastic. We’ve always melded well, especially academically. 

With everything settled, we go our separate ways. 

* * *

The owls brought in the post on Friday. Surprisingly I had three letters come to me. One from my mother, who just wanted to check in on how school is going and if I see Ronan much since he’s avoiding her letters. The second is from my aunt Theo. This one I open excitedly since I haven’t seen her since Christmas. She informs me that she’s had to distance herself from the family in order to maintain employment with the ministry of magic, as well as having been selected to be a magical diplomat in Paris. 

The third letter is from Lucius. 

_ My dearest Rosalind,  _

_ As I am writing this letter to you, I am in my parent’s beach cottage missing you terribly. By this time Saturday I will be at a very important meeting. I am very sorry as this impedes on our ability to meet in Hogsmeade as I have promised previously. Please know it pains me a great deal to let you down this way. I want nothing more than to see you again. Although it’s been just a week since you started back at Hogwarts, it seems like ages. _

_ Please do not hold it against me, and I will make up to you.  _

_ Sincerely yours,  _

_ Lucius Malfoy _

“Odd,” I commented to Severus. 

“What is it?” he inquires before taking a sip of his morning coffee. 

“Have you heard about a meeting in Ireland?” 

“No, as far as I’ve heard all the meetings are still being held at your place. Travel is a bit of a risk.” 

I roll the parchment back up carefully before setting it back into the small pile with the others. Lucius seems to be lying to me, but I can’t place why. In the past I’ve never given him a reason to believe I won’t be understanding of anything he needs to talk about. 

“Lucius is lying to me,” I whisper so only he can hear me since Delilah and Ronan sit across from us. 

“Not here,” Severus says. 

We both excuse ourselves from breakfast, and with an hour left until class begins we make our way out the empty courtyard. 

“Let me see the letter,” Severus says. 

I hand over the parchment, and watch as Severus carefully unrolls it. His eyebrows furrow as he reads the words written in Lucius’ pristine cursive in grey ink. My hope among all things is that perhaps Severus will finally explain why he suddenly seems to hate Lucius so much when they used to be such good friends. 

“He’s lying,” Severus comments dryly. 

“Why yes, thank you. I think I figured that out on my own, Sev. But why?” 

He shrugs, “Perhaps he’s found a better way of spending his time rather than coming to Hogsmead to visit you.” 

“That’s such a cruel thing to say,” I chide him. “I’m his girlfriend, after all.” 

“But should you be?” Severus asks with an odd amount of conviction in the way he held himself. “Why must it be Lucius Malfoy? Aren’t there others who could appreciate you even more than he does? Other’s who actually see you for what you are and not what he wants you to be. Because you’ll never be enough for him, because he requires more than you can give.” 

“Severus,” I sigh. 

My mind of course immediately brings Sirius to the forefront, but I quickly push it away. The further along things go, the more dangerous I know it is to linger too long on my fondness for him. All it takes is one wrong memory to be brought to the surface to be interpreted by the wrong person, and everyone I love will be in danger. 

“I’m right,” he says finally. “You know I’m right.” 

“We need to get to class,” I whisper. As I turn away, I hear him following me. 

“I’m sorry, Lindy. I’m just trying to protect you.” 

“I shouldn’t have brought you into it. You’re biased anyway, since you’ve suddenly decided to hate him.” 

“It’s not so simple,” he insists. 

“Severus, I’m sorry I mentioned it. Really, I should have kept it to myself.” 

We walk together to Potions class, where we are assigned an identification assignment. In which we all take turns listing the different ways to identify common and uncommon potions and poisons. I’m relieved that there aren’t many free moments for him to try and talk about the letter anymore.

Although, I must admit his words in the courtyard did bring about new ideas for me. Somehow it had become so natural to view my relationship with Lucius as being necessary to my work for the cause. I know I can’t be with Sirius, nor do I know if he would even still want me. 

For the first time, however, I actually consider the idea of not going on with Lucius anymore. What if I don’t have to? At this point, it’s not necessary. Yet the thought of breaking up with him does make me sad. A line I didn’t even consider existed has been blurred. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius shows his softer side to Stevie when she shares the news of her grandfather's passing with the group. Severus and Stevie finally find some closure about their doomed affair.

Returning to school after what happened to my grandfather seemed unfair and emotionally draining. Alois and Mary even tried to persuade me to stay home for some time, but I decided against it even though I wanted to stay home. I knew that graduating school was very important, and I knew my friends would need me to be with them this year. It was also very important for me to be near Dumbledore, in case that he would have something to tell me about the Death Eater attacks, or even about another Order meeting.

After what had happened at school last year with the Death Eater attack during the dance, Cecilia decided to pull Ares out of Hogwarts and send him off to Durmstrang in Bulgaria. I knew I would miss him dearly, but it was for the best. Cecilia would have done the same for me, but she isn’t my actual guardian. The only person who could make that decision was Edmund.

Thinking back on that night, I was trying my best to not let my emotions show. We arrive at the station early and I immediately find my friends. James and Lily are standing so close together, you would almost think they are fused together.

Remus and Peter are engaged in a conversation about bats, and Sirius seems to be looking for someone in the crowd. His eyes wander as people pass by, yet he seems not so preoccupied with his search. It’s almost like instinct for him to scan the crowd…

...maybe he was looking for Lindy.

I’m proven wrong as Samantha Waters walks up to him, and they embrace softly. I wasn’t very fond of Samantha, but it was nice to see Sirius finally be able to move on from Lindy. I know he was still heartbroken, but you could tell he was trying not to show it. Sirius was the expert at putting up a macho facade, and he’d often laugh off any kind of sorrow that he would be feeling. Whether it be cracking a joke when someone mentions Samantha or Marlene, or God forbid, Lindy or whether it be pranking someone who would mention his many relationships, Sirius never wore his heart on his sleeve in matters of love and heartbreak.

“Stevie!” Lily yells as she spots me. I rush over to her and James, and soon the rest of the group comes over.

“Are you feeling well? Remus told us that something happened last night with your family.” There’s worry written all over her face, and I look down at my shoes.

“Well, I’m fine. My grandfather passed away just last night.” Everyone is shocked and soon I’m being passed around like a sack of potatoes so everyone can give me a hug.

My hug with Remus lasts a little longer than the others, and he gives me a soft kiss on the forehead. Sirius and James exchange glances at this, but they don’t say anything which I am very grateful for.

“Right, let’s head onto the train then?” I suggest which breaks the tension. I’m not too keen on discussing the events of last night with everyone, and I hope that someone else can talk about their summer.

We board the train together, while Sirius decides to wrap his arms around Remus and I. He mimics giving us both lovey dovey eyes. I guess he fancies himself a joker, but I know it’s mostly innocent. As we do our best to find a compartment, I glance over to one that has Lindy sitting in it. Seeing as she doesn’t notice me, I don’t bother mentioning it to anyone. I try not to worry about how Lindy looks different and older, but there’s something that makes me think something serious has happened to her over the summer.

We settle into a compartment together, and I manage to squeeze in next to Sirius and Remus. On the other side, Lily and James sit next to each other while Peter sits next to the door. I sigh a breath of relief as we watch Severus go by, yet James nor Sirius say anything.

“Sooo Rem, when did you bag this bird for good?” Sirius quips while I blush.

“Uh...what do you mean?” Remus stammers and I tell him to forget it. Silence fills the compartment before James and Sirius lose their cool and begin laughing at Remus and I.

“Anyway, enough about that, I heard that you three snuck off this summer to catch a concert!” Lily exclaims and I’m instantly reminded of the night Sirius, James and I went to London to see a muggle band play.

Not just any muggle band, we ended up going to see Queen! Of all the bands playing this summer, it was the only one we were able to plan. It was rather easy to tell James’ parents that we were going to do some very late night shopping, but trying to sneak into the concert proved to be very hard. There were security guards everywhere, and none of us had tickets. We had been worried about being stopped by someone, but it didn’t stop us from finding a way inside thanks to James’ cloak. 

“Well, you know, we just have our way around things.” Sirius boasts about us getting in without paying, but Peter starts snickering.

“More like, you guys climbed a fence and almost had to use the Confundus charm on the security guards.” Peter laughs, but James is shaking his fist at him which shuts Peter up immediately.

“Either way, it was so amazing. That bloke can sing!” I tell them as I recall the details.

The rest of the train ride is filled with our laughter and jokes as we discuss how much fun our last year of Hogwarts will be. Despite all of us feeling pretty lighthearted, most of us are worried about how our roles have evolved. The silence allows us to think about how the last Order meeting went down. It was scary to think that soon we may be targets. Voldemort knew about our group, but none of us really knew how to conceal ourselves. We were only students! Children really...

As night falls, we arrive at the Hogsmeade station. I am worn out and I wish I could just skip the start of the year feast. I’m pulled out of my thoughts of abandoning the sorting ceremony by Sirius wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“You okay?” He asks.

“As much as a grieving person can be, I guess.” I mutter, and he stops me. As I look at the rest of the group walking to the carriage, I let my eyes stop on Sirius’ eyes. They are soulful and sincere.

“I’m really sorry for your loss, Stevie. I know you always wanted to be really close to your grandfather, but it was always difficult for you.” Sirius speaks tenderly. Out of everyone, he really understands how I feel about family.

“I knew it would happen eventually, but it was so hard to see him go...and then my father came in and tried to attack us. It was terrible.” I tell him.

“I’m so so sorry that happened. You know you can tell me anything, Stevie. I know sometimes I like to poke fun, but you can always talk to me about this kind of stuff. We understand each other.” It’s weird to think of Sirius as such an emotional guy, but it’s so relieving to have a friend that understands this kind of stuff.

It’s not long before we’re joining the others in the carriage, and the rest of the night goes off without a hitch. I don’t even think about Lindy or Edmund at all. I do my best to remember that it is my last year at school with my best friends.

Which brings me to the next day, our first day of seventh year. I thought that the first day would be vastly different from last year, except it seems that history repeats itself. 

Potions class ended up being a drama filled event when Sirius came to class late. While this alone usually wouldn’t be remarkable, it became quite the ruckus when Lindy and James had to break up a starting fight between Sirius and Severus. I try my best to not even pay attention, but it always seems like I’m caught in this storm.

The rest of the morning is uneventful, but lunch proves to be difficult as James and Lily relay some information to all of us about their conversation with Lindy. 

“So you’re saying she was acting weird?” Sirius asks with a mouthful of turkey sandwich. Marlene rolls her eyes at him and I laugh.

“It was more than weird. It was almost like she wanted to tell us something important, but stopped just before she blurted out whatever she wanted to say.” Lily says somberly.

“That’s not out of the ordinary. She’s been off since last year.” Peter mentions, and it makes me think about the events that unfolded last year.

“It is out of the ordinary though, she was actually talking to us. She wanted us to know something. I’m sure of it!” James exclaims. 

“Since when are you the Rosalind expert?” I ask him, and he shrugs.

“Whatever, you can believe us or not. It happened and her actions and words were strange.”

This had me puzzled for the rest of lunch. Lindy didn’t really talk to any of us since she decided she was changing sides. It had been gradual, but it seemed like it had been years since I spoke to her. It was almost like I had lost this part of me that I could always confide in.

I push these concerns to the back of my mind as I make my way to defence against the dark arts. I sit next to Remus, not caring if the new teacher wants us to be separated by houses. He’s short and stout, and it reminds me of the muggle nursery rhyme about the teapot. I stifle back chuckles while he starts talking about nonverbal spells and us not being very good at them.

It’s not long before he decides to pair us up with someone so we can start practicing nonverbal spells with them, and to grade ourselves on the affectability of our skills. I’m not super worried about who my partner will be because I’ve actually managed to get a good grasp at nonverbal spells.

“Next up, Severus Snape and Stevie Frost.” I groan internally at this. This is not a good start to my year. This was the last person who I wanted to be partnered with. I guess that’s what I get for not charming my piece of scrap parchment.

My heart stops when I hear professor Ricard call out Remus and Lindy’s names. How could this happen? Wouldn’t it work out so much better if I were to be paired with Remus and Lindy be paired with Severus?

I begrudgingly make my way over to where Severus is seated, and I see a harsh look in his eyes. I’m unsure if he’s pleased or annoyed that we’ve been partnered up.

“So, would you like to maybe practice after dinner most nights? This will be a bit more simple seeing as we’re in the same house.” I suggest.

“I’m fine with that, as long as you don’t bring any of your scummy friends along.” I’m not surprised he makes mention of this, but I just nod.

“Fine fine, whatever. It’s our project afterall. Why would I be bringing anyone else?” I ask him. He just scowls slightly.

“You hang around the worst type of people, Stevie. Who knows what kind of malicious prank you could be planning?” I’m a bit upset by his words, but I don’t let them get to me.

“I solemnly swear I won’t prank you.” With that, class ends and I’m off to alchemy. I’m relieved that I don’t really know anyone in my alchemy class.

Usually, the class wasn’t regularly taught, but quite a few students asked for it, and I ended up finding my true calling within this class. It was just something that I grasped and understood so well. None of my other friends really paid much attention to my alchemic studies, which didn’t bother me much anyway.

Alchemy has been a prominent career in my family for generations, and while I’ve never really thought about it, I’ve always seen myself as an alchemist. I’ve always loved how it mixes in magic, and philosophy and of course muggle science. It’s complexity keeps me challenged, and I can always feel like I don’t have to worry about anyone’s feelings while I’m studying alchemy. It’s not about people, it’s about objects and the essence of things. It brings out the best in me.

Before long, I find myself in the last class of the day and the professor decides to pile on the homework. I feel overwhelmed and tired, but I make it to the end of the day. Homework and essays are the furthest thing from my mind as I approach the table my friends are sitting at

I notice Marlene McKinnon sitting next to Sirius. I unenthusiastically plop down next to him and Remus. James and Lily are chatting with Peter on the other side of the table. I grab a few things from the array of food and start eating fervently.

“Tough day?” Remus asks as he turns towards me.

“Well, I’m sure you’re aware of the interesting potions class,” I tell him as I sigh, “as well as the fact that my project partner is none other than Severus Snape.”

Sirius grins as I mention Severus, and I roll my eyes preemptively to whatever remark he will be making.

“Ahh, Snivellous. That’ll be fun for sure. And we’ve got Remus with  _ Rosalind _ .” Sirius mocks Lucius Malfoy’s drawl as he mentions Lindy. I can’t help but laugh at his almost scary accurate imitation of Malfoy.

“Haha, real funny Sirius. We all know you charmed your paper to be with Lily.” I say with jealousy in my heart. I hate the fact that Lindy gets to spend time with Remus now.

“Don’t worry about it, Stevie. It’s just a project.” Remus reminds me, but it doesn’t help the jealousy and fire growing within me.

“You seemed pretty comfortable with her in class. Seems kind of funny that you’re the only person that Lindy has talked to and hasn’t immediately tried to hurt.” I retort back to him.

“It’s just a project, Stevie! I’m not sure what kind of conclusions you’re jumping too, but you don’t need to worry. It’s not like Lindy and I have become best friends or lovers overnight.” I try to rationalize with Remus, but my stubbornness gives way.

“Oh you’d probably like that, wouldn’t you? You two were always a match made in heaven. Good students, prefects...that kind of thing.” I say as I get up. Suddenly, I’m not really interested in eating dinner with everyone.

Sirius and James call after me as I walk away, but I ignore them. Lily gets up and follows me out of the great hall. As the doors close behind us, I lean against the wall and sigh.

“I’m such an idiot. He’s going to hate me now.” I mutter as I try to blink back a few tears. This first day has my emotions in shambles.

“No he won’t. I know Remus. He’s probably concerned about you. You know he really likes you right?” Lily soothes.

“Yeah and I really like him too, but I always find a way to fuck this up. I just wish it were easy.” I want to sneak outside and have a cigarette, but I know Lily would be very unhappy with me if she knew where I was going.

“It’s not supposed to be easy. Look at me and James! I used to hate his guts, and somehow he’s charmed me. I don’t know what changed, but I found him to be so sweet and cute last year. Now, I don’t even know what I’d do without him by my side.” I’m stunned by her confession.

“Do you think you’re in love with James?” I ask her, and she blushes.

“I’m not sure I’d call it in love, but there’s a deep infatuation there.” Lily explains, and soon the doors to the great hall open and Remus is standing there.

“Can I talk to you privately, Stevie?” He seems remorseful, and suddenly I feel like a fool.

“I’ll just leave you two alone.” Lily squeaks as she sneaks past us to go into the great hall.

I look into Remus’ green eyes and see the sweetness I’ve fallen for over and over and over again. I can’t help but feel like there’s also a deep infatuation between him and I as well. I wish I wasn’t so stubborn sometimes, and I wish he wasn’t so afraid.

“I’m sorry about what I said.” I apologize to him. He smiles.

“I’m sorry that you felt like this was going to come between us. You know I care about you immensely.” Remus explains as he cups my face. I’m blushing as he plants a sweet kiss on my lips.

“I think I lov--” I start to say before Peter comes running through followed by Sirius who is chasing him with a fork. I groan as I can’t believe I’ve almost just confessed my love to Remus, but also that I’ve just been interrupted.

Remus laughs at the two troublemakers, and then he slowly turns to me. I’m so embarrassed that I’ve almost said that in the heat of the moment.

“What was it you were about to say? I didn’t quite catch that.” Remus asks.

“It wasn’t anything of importance. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I kiss him on the cheek and leave him in confusion as I walk off to the dungeons.

_ Idiot! Idiot! IDIOT!  _

Those are the words that ring through my head throughout the night and it continues for the next few days as I do my best to compose myself. While I spend most of my time with the group, I’m forced to spend some time with Severus.

It’s only by next week that we really get some headway to our project. Surprisingly, Severus is quite a bit more talented than I am at nonverbal spells. Where he learned this skill is beyond me.

“You aren’t trying hard enough! Concentrate!” He shouts at me one evening in the courtyard. There are others who are practicing for their project out here, but I cannot spot Lindy and Remus which is somewhat of a relief.

“I’m really trying.” I lie. I wasn’t really trying my very best, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how dumb I had been to almost confess my love to Remus. I also had a meeting with Dumbledore the next day that was running through my mind.

I hoped it would be something simple and not worrisome, but with the way things were these days, you never know what could happen.

Just today, I received a letter from my brother in Bulgaria. He was really enjoying his time at Durmstrang, and had even made lots of friends. This wasn’t something that shocked me. My brother was a little social butterfly. What shocked me was the fact that he told me that Edmund had come to Durmstrang to try and pull him out of there, but I guess the headmaster kicked Edmund out.

Ares did write to me to warn me that Edmund was on his way to see me. What for, I did not know. But what I did know, it could not be good.

Suddenly, I was hit with a jinx. I of course hadn’t heard Severus say Flipendo, because we are practicing nonverbal spells. I was knocked back on my ass, and I couldn’t really find the want to get up.

“Oh shit, Stevie! Are you okay?” This was Severus running to my aid to my surprise.

“Yeah, I think so. I guess you were right. I wasn’t paying attention or concentrating.” I tell him as he extends his hand to help me up. I gladly accept it.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” This was weird. Severus and I weren’t exactly on the best terms.

“I’m fine, Sev.” I found myself slipping up and using the old nickname that I used to use on him. I can see a pink tint on his cheeks.

“Sorry.” He mutters. I just chuckle softly.

“You’re alright. I’m alright. Let’s get back to it.” I encourage him, but he doesn’t move.

“I’m sorry, Stevie.” He repeats, but I’m not really sure why he would repeat himself when I told him it was alright.

“I already said it was okay.” I reassure him. His eyes can no longer meet mine. I’m starting to sense this isn’t about the knock-back jinx.

“Not about that. About...last year.” Suddenly, my mind fills with thoughts of a steamy shower, and an incredible orgasm. It’s now my turn to blush.

“I’d rather we never talk about that again.” I’m firm with him.

“I know, but I wanted to apologize. It wasn’t right for me to do  _ that _ to you when you were so vulnerable.” His apology sounds sincere, but for all I know it could be some ploy for him to do something to me again.

“Let’s just get back to the spells, alright? I don’t hate you, if that’s what you’re looking for.” He seems more at ease when I say this.

“Thank you.” I’m not sure where Severus and I stand anymore, but there seems to be less animosity between us.


End file.
